Best Man's Guide to Organising a Stag Do
Being asked to be best man is an honour - but it also means you're responsible for organising a stag do that everyone enjoys. No pressure. This guide breaks it down step by step so you don't miss anything.
When to start planning
The biggest mistake best men make is leaving it too late. Here's a rough timeline:
Start the conversation
Ask the groom what kind of stag they want. City break? Activity day? Weekend away? Do they want something wild or relatively tame? Get a rough headcount - this determines everything.
Lock in dates and book
Send a poll to the group with 2-3 date options. Book accommodation and any activities that need reserving. Collect deposits. The earlier you book, the cheaper it is.
Confirm numbers and plan the details
Chase anyone who hasn't paid. Plan the itinerary - you don't need it minute-by-minute, but know what you're doing when. Sort costumes, props, or anything you need to bring.
Final prep
Share the plan with the group (but keep surprises from the groom). Set up stag do fines rules. Create your Fined, Lad. room - add everyone's names and emails and they'll get invite links to join. Confirm all bookings.
How to set the budget
Money is the most awkward part of planning a stag do. Here's how to handle it without losing friends:
- Ask what people can afford. Send a private message to each person. Don't assume everyone earns the same. A weekend that's £400/head might be nothing to some and impossible for others.
- The groom usually doesn't pay. Split his costs across the group. Make sure everyone knows this upfront so there are no surprises.
- Collect money early. Set a deadline for deposits and final payments. Use a shared pot (Monzo, Splitwise) to keep it transparent.
- Build in a buffer. Things always cost more than expected. Taxis, rounds, entry fees - budget an extra 10-15% for unplanned expenses.
Typical UK stag do costs (2026)
How to choose activities
The best stag dos have a mix of structured activities and free time. Don't over-schedule - people need downtime to chat, drink, and exist.
Popular daytime activities
- Go-karting - competitive, easy to organise
- Clay pigeon shooting - works even if nobody's done it before
- Paintball / airsoft - gets competitive fast
- Beer or whisky tasting - for the more refined stag
- Escape rooms - good for smaller groups
- Golf or footgolf - casual and social
- Water sports (coasteering, kayaking) - if the weather's right
Evening activities
- Pub crawl with drinking games and fines
- Comedy club or live music
- Karaoke (the groom must sing)
- Casino night
- Cocktail making class
The golden rule of activities
Pick things the groom would enjoy - not what you think a stag do "should" be. If the groom hates nightclubs, don't book a VIP table. If he loves football, book a five-a-side pitch.
One less thing to organise
Fined, Lad. handles stag do fines automatically. Create a room, invite your group by email, and everyone can submit fines and vote from their phone. Takes 60 seconds.
Set up your fines room - £19.99How to manage the group
Herding 10-15 blokes is harder than it sounds. Here's what works:
- One group chat, clear rules. Create a WhatsApp group for logistics. Pin important messages (dates, payments, itinerary). Don't let it become a meme dump - or at least keep logistics separate.
- Appoint a deputy. Pick one other reliable person to help you. They can chase payments, coordinate transport, and back you up when decisions need making.
- Be direct about money. "Can everyone send £X to this account by Friday" is better than hinting. People respect directness.
- Don't try to please everyone. With 10+ people, someone will always have a preference. Make decisions, commit to them, and move on. You'll go mad trying to get consensus on everything.
- Keep the groom in the loop (mostly). He should know dates, rough budget, and what to pack. Surprises are great but don't leave him completely in the dark - that causes anxiety, not excitement.
On the day - best man survival tips
Your job on the day is part host, part shepherd, part referee. Here's how to do it without burning out:
- Stay one drink behind. You need to keep it together longer than everyone else. You're the one calling taxis, remembering the booking reference, and making sure nobody gets left behind.
- Set ground rules early. If you're running fines, announce them at the start. If there are any off-limits topics (exes, sensitive stuff), make that clear.
- Have a loose schedule, not a strict one. "We're at the pub from 2, go-karts at 5, dinner at 8" is enough. Don't plan to the minute.
- Delegate. You don't have to do everything yourself. Get someone to handle the drinks kitty, someone else to navigate, and someone to be the photographer.
- Check on the groom. He's the whole reason you're here. Make sure he's having a good time, not overwhelmed, and not being bullied into anything he hates.
- Take photos and videos. You'll want them later. But don't spend the whole time behind your phone - live it too.
Setting up games and fines
Games are the backbone of a great stag do. They keep the energy up, give people something to do between venues, and create the stories you'll retell at the wedding speech.
The fines system is particularly good because it runs in the background all day. While you're doing activities and playing other games, people are also watching for rule breaks. It creates a running commentary and a leaderboard that builds throughout the weekend.
Set up 10-15 rules before the stag. When you create your Fined, Lad. room, add everyone's emails - they'll each get an invite to join directly. The room is private, so only your group can see the fines and vote. Classic rules include: no phones, no mentioning work, no saying the groom's real name, no complaining. See our full guide to stag do fines for 30+ ideas.
For drinking games to play alongside the fines, check out our best stag do drinking games guide.
Frequently asked questions
How far in advance should I plan the stag do?
Start 3-6 months before the wedding. This gives you time to find dates that work for everyone, book accommodation and activities at good prices, and chase payments without it being last minute. If you're going abroad, start even earlier.
Who pays for the groom?
Traditionally, the groom doesn't pay for the stag do - his costs are split across the group. Make sure everyone knows this upfront when you set the budget. Some groups have the groom pay their own travel but cover their accommodation and activities.
What if people drop out?
It happens. Set clear cancellation policies upfront: "If you drop out after X date, you still owe your share of the accommodation." Get deposits early to lock people in. The later someone drops out, the harder it is to redistribute costs.
Should I invite the groom's dad?
Ask the groom. Some grooms love having their dad there (especially for the daytime activities). Others want it to be mates only. If the dad does come, he might want to skip the late-night pub crawl - and that's completely fine.
What if the groom hates surprises?
Not every groom wants to be blindfolded and driven to an unknown location. Ask early what their comfort level is. You can still have a few surprises within a known framework - he knows you're going to Manchester, but the go-karting and the escape room are a surprise.
Make your stag do legendary
Fined, Lad. handles the fines, votes, and verdicts. You focus on being the best best man.
Create a room - £19.99